Photo Source: What Not to Say to Someone Who Has Been Hurt By Church | RELEVANT Magazine
There are several articles that seem to be making the rounds on social media about abuse in the Church, but this one in particular from Relevant Magazine seems to be making the rounds like wildfire. At least in my news feed. I shared it on Monday and it has created a buzz, so I thought I’d postpone my regularly scheduled blog post for today and comment on it quickly.
First, I relate to the author, Jonathan Hollingsworth not because I’ve been in any kind of abusive church situation, because I don’t feel I have. But I relate because we’re similar in age and both went on the mission field very young and had negative experiences. Until I read his book, I can’t make further comparisons.
Edited to add: since publishing this article, I have read his book (or I should say, his mom’s book) and was severely underwhelmed.
But one thing I’m seeing right away that is worth commenting on is this, and I’m not implying the author is doing it, but sometimes I think people’s perception of ‘abuse’ is merely ‘someone at church told me something I didn’t like, so I feel it was abusive‘. If people don’t want to obey any authority, that will spill over into their relationships in all areas of their life.
Again, I’m not trying to fall into any of the things the author of the article says are things you shouldn’t say to those who truly have been spiritually abused or hurt by the church. Far from it! In fact, for a while a few years ago I had written a few blogs and done a few podcast discussions with Dr. Stephen Crosby and SJ Hill to the point where I had gotten accused a few times of having a “hang up” with this issue.
But I see a type of “amen-ing” going on from a few people who, let’s face it, when we get down to it, I don’t feel necessarily have sad stories to sympathize with or can really claim they were “burned by the church”. Others on the other hand truly have horrific nightmares to share, and I can understand their apprehensiveness to darken the footstep of a church ever again.
Where two or three are gathered, there will be a fight.
In all forms of community people won’t get along. Sheep with sheep, shepherds with other shepherds, and shepherds with sheep.
Such is life.
But the on the other hand, if you can’t spend your money or make life decisions without permission from your pastor, or you got labeled Jezebel for merely asking questions, then sure, let’s get on with shining a light on the matters and hold such leadership’s feet to the fire!
