I’ve never been one to fall asleep immediately when my head touches the pillow beneath it. For as long as I can remember I’ve always needed to either read, listen to something on headphones, or in some cases when I’ve owned a TV, watch it while laying in bed while my eyelids compete with each other to see which one could drop fastest.
Since I’m a light sleeper, it’s always been difficult for me to fall asleep immediately without the help of either a fan, ear plugs, or a radio to block out external noises. For these reasons I’ve heard a great deal of preaching mp3s over the years while laying in bed dosing off.
The day that Lili took her second home pregnancy test and it showed us that she was indeed pregnant as we were starting to suspect, I was quite frightened, to be honest. How could this be happening, God? You know I don’t really have enough income or support for this just yet, and we’ve been careful and using precautions!
Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been looking forward to having kids one day, we just wanted to enjoy married life for a year or two first since we’re marrying later in life than most do, and the odds of having empty nest years are slimmer.
That Saturday night a few weeks ago when we found out, I just couldn’t sleep. I was scared. I had a lot of questions and preoccupations running through my head. Things like how I’m no longer needing to worry about just what I will eat, but two other people. I wanted to transition into this change one person at a time. First, my wife, then, my kids. The pace seems to be coming faster than I was finding myself ready for. Usually other people in this situation have a little bit more income than I do.
In the days that followed we started telling a few others and each of them were excited. Nobody shared the same “concerns” as I did. In fact most people said they knew we’d get pregnant fast, and have a kid a year later. Considering that these were the same people who had prophetic words that Lili and I would become more than friends and start dating back in late 2011, I’ll give them some credit. But still, I didn’t sleep well at first, to say the least!
We All Have Stress In Life
Apparently my reaction as a husband and father-to-be can be pretty normal. People encouraged me personally that God will provide, since He clearly doesn’t think we’re unready or else He wouldn’t have bi-passed our birth control methods to give us this gift. Still, I had — and still have — a lot of work to be done in my inner man to develop peace.
I immediately went back to my own book on Increasing Your Faith. This is not to promote it here, but to admit that in the last few weeks there have been some additional pages added to it to reflect things I’m learning, such as having a good night’s sleep to help get rid of worry. Since I wrote that book to minister to myself in the months leading up to my wedding, it wound up getting a slight expansion now with the latest opportunity for me to put my trust in God and have faith in Him to provide and show me what to do.
My Personal Cure for Insomnia
One of the go-to people whose teachings I put on my iPod and listen to in order to stir up my faith is Dave Roberson, author of the quintessential book on praying in tongues. I started listening to a 6 message series of his I’ve had in my iTunes for years but had never gotten around to listening to. This is easy to do when you’ve got gigabytes of teaching on your computer from just one preacher!
The series, perfectly timed for my life, are called Peace, the Aggressive Weapon of God. I had to listen to these messages several times each, whether laying in bed or while going on walks while running errands, but mostly while laying in bed unable to sleep. Now I’m starting to put into practice in a newer way trusting in God and resting in Him, only in this case, literally resting. Like, not being kept awake from thinking about all my worries or problems, which, now, I don’t really feel like I even have.
There have been studies that have shown how stress causes health problems, and likewise studies showing how laughter can help improve someone’s health, and Dave shares great stories in these messages that I’d have to verify. Suffice it to say there’s definitely a relationship between our emotions and our physical health, I know that from experience. If not, then I would have had a heart attack already with my vegetable-free diet I’ve lived on over the years. My secret to a healthy life has been a whole lot of episodes of The Office, but we’re talking about sleeping in this post. At any rate, how much more so it’s important to make sure our inner man is well established, and this will also prove a positive impact on our outer man. Wash the inside of the cup, the outside will be clean also.
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